Dealing With Couple Envy

dating support Apr 05, 2021

Strategies To Deal With Couple Envy


Do you feel jealous of other couples and their relationships? Couple envy is a common concern. It’s important to remember that things are not always as they seem! Those other couples may or may not have the relationship you perceive.  

The envy can stem from seeing another single sister get married. Envy can also come from seeing couples who have children while you struggle with a ticking clock. It’s also a frequent concern when you see couples that seem to never fight or have issues.


If you’re trying to deal with couple envy, consider these tips:


  • Understanding couple envy. Couple envy refers to the feelings of resentful desire you have after seeing another relationship.


  • Jealousy can arise any time that you compare your relationship status to that of another.


  • Reality versus fiction. Although other couples may seem to have perfect relationships, you are probably seeing the highlight reels.


  • Combat envy with biblical truth. Since envy has lasting negative impacts, Galatians 5:22 tells us we can overcome it by operating in the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.


  • It’s hard to judge a relationship from a distance. Couples who claim they never fight or never spend time away from each other may not be sharing the truth. It’s difficult for others to judge the real nature of a relationship from a distance.


  • It’s also easy to create the illusion of perfection by deliberately discussing positive aspects and ignoring the negative ones. Even close friends and family members may not be aware of the true nature of the couple’s relationship. It’s easy to hide faults and issues from the public’s eye.


  • Your relationship will be as unique as you. It’s important to remember that relationships differ, so you can’t expect to have the same one as another couple. Use your energy to prepare for your future relationship or to improve your present one.


  • Instead of allowing envy to take control, use it as a learning experience. Consider what you can do differently in your life and relationships to improve your satisfaction levels.


  • Consider what your envy is causing you to focus on and rather than envy begin to address your perceived void.


  • Envy can’t be ignored. You can’t simply wish away the feelings of envy. But you can turn your focus toward learning more about yourself and your relationship or planning for your future relationship instead.


  • Use the envy as a learning tool to explore your own emotions. It can also help you reassess your past where you are and why you’re dissatisfied with your relationship status.


  • Awareness of your situation. You can reduce or eliminate your feelings of envy by focusing on the positive aspects of your own life. Do you have a partner who helps with housework, makes you coffee every day, and listens to your boring work stories?

Couple envy doesn’t have to consume your life. Use these strategies to identify it, move past it, and let the blessings of your own life and relationships be your focus – not someone else’s.

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