Before You Go on a Second Date

Mar 15, 2021

 

First dates attract a lot of attention. The internet is full of advice for what to do when you’re going out with someone for the first time. However, less is said about second dates, even though they’re usually more important in determining the future of your love life.

On a first date, you may be so anxious that it’s difficult to be yourself. You may also be too distracted to listen well. Your next encounter may be your first real opportunity to relax, get to know each other, and start exploring your compatibility.

 

Give second dates the attention they deserve. Try these tips for making them successful.

Lighten up. Do you tend to rehash each moment of a date looking for things you wish you did differently or finding flaws in someone else? Try letting go of minor details. Focus on whether you would like to get to know this person better.

Keep it about the second date and avoid long term thinking. You still have plenty of time before you need to make any life changing decisions. It may be worth going out again as long as you both like each other and no deal breakers presented.

Stick to facts. Don’t allow your imagination run away with you. Avoid trying on last names or dreaming about what could be. Allow more time together before you’ll know if there’s any potential for pursuing a long-term relationship.

Call a friend. It can be difficult to be objective when your emotions are involved. Talk about your experience with family and friends you trust. Their input may help you to make wiser decisions.

Raise the stakes. Was your first meeting a quick cup of coffee? Share a full meal this time or hang out on the weekend when you’ll be able to stay out later.

Prepare for conversation. Keep the dialogue flowing. Have a few subjects ready to make small talk easier. Think about questions you want to ask and what information you’re comfortable sharing.

Follow up. One way to show your interest is to continue conversations from your first date. Let them know you care about their sick cat or their recent business trip.

Stick to your budget. Dealing with money issues is part of dating. Avoid the temptation to impress others with lavish spending. Choose activities you can afford.

Pace yourself. Remember that your relationship is still new. Maintain your boundaries and respect your date’s feelings.

Continue to protect your safety by meeting in public places, especially if you haven’t known each other for long.

Second dates can be as exciting as first dates, but with fewer awkward moments. Learning to manage the early stages of a romance will help you to understand what you’re looking for and build a solid foundation for your life as a couple.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Share in the comments below. 

Also, do you have a question about love, dating, sex, or marriage? Email us at [email protected] and we may answer anonymously in an upcoming blog or video!

 

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